Rise: Hope and Healing Podcast

Keeping Your Boat Afloat: Self-Care That Stabilizes After Betrayal (Season 1: Episode 4)

Keeping Your Boat Afloat: Self-Care That Stabilizes After Betrayal (PIERS Framework)
Summary:
In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Marianne Michaelis reframe self-care as the essential stabilizer after discovery—not bubble baths, but daily practices that calm the nervous system and restore capacity. Using the PIERS framework(Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Relational, Spiritual), they show how gentle movement (not overexertion) can switch off fight-or-flight, how learning gives language and edges to a blurry trauma story, and how naming and expressing emotions releases their grip. They highlight the power of connection—groups and one trusted person—to accelerate healing, and they broaden “spiritual” to include values, nature, and quiet reflection that settles the body and clears the mind.
With habit-stacking tips (like listening to an audiobook while walking) and cautions against overwhelming already-taxed systems, the episode invites listeners to take one small, doable step today: choose a PIERS practice you can repeat tomorrow. The message is simple and compassionate—you are worth taking care of, and consistent self-care is how your boat stays afloat through the storm.
Resources Available
Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal CourseA structured 12-session program with videos, assignments, and group support for betrayed partners.👉 https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/hope-and-healing-from-sexual-betrayal
Human Intimacy Online CommunityJoin our upcoming educational support group with Dr. Skinner and Marianne Michaelis—weekly sessions, Q&As, and guided learning designed to provide tools and community for ongoing recovery.
Additional Resources
Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal – Dr. Kevin Skinner’s book exploring the science and path of recovery.
The Other Side of Infidelity – Dr. Skinner’s TEDx Talk introducing the trauma model of sexual betrayal.
Free articles, podcasts, and exercises available at HumanIntimacy.com
 

You’re Not Going Crazy: Understanding Your Body’s Response to Betrayal through the Polyvagal Lens (Season 1: Episode #3)

You’re Not Going Crazy:
Understanding Your Body’s Response to Betrayal through the Polyvagal Lens
Episode Summary
In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore why betrayed partners often feel like they’re “going crazy” in the aftermath of discovery. Drawing on Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, they explain how your body’s automatic survival responses—fight, flight, or freeze—are not signs of instability but biological protections designed to keep you safe.
Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn walk listeners through the physiological impact of betrayal trauma, describing how the nervous system reacts when safety is shattered. They discuss common physical symptoms such as sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and panic, explaining how these are natural outcomes of a body in distress.
MaryAnn introduces practical grounding tools—like mindful breathing and body awareness—to help listeners reconnect with themselves, while Dr. Skinner emphasizes that healing begins by understanding and respecting the body’s instinct to protect. Together, they outline how to recognize where you are on the Polyvagal Ladder—whether in a state of ventral vagal calm, sympathetic arousal, or dorsal shutdown—and how to use gentle practices to move toward safety, regulation, and connection.
This episode offers clarity and compassion for anyone feeling overwhelmed after betrayal, reminding listeners that you are not broken—you’re human, and your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
📚 Resources & References
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. Delacorte Press.
Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark.
Human Intimacy — Course: Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal – A 12-week guided program designed for betrayed partners to understand trauma, rebuild safety, and begin recovery.
Worksheet: Mapping Your Polyvagal Responses – Included in the course to help you identify your nervous-system states and create personalized strategies for regulation.

Your Not Crazy: How Sexual Betrayal Triggers PTSD Symptoms (Season 1: Episode #2)

Understanding PTSD Symptoms After Sexual Betrayal
In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Marianne Michaels dive deep into why sexual betrayal is best understood through the lens of trauma and PTSD. They discuss the history of partner responses—moving away from the outdated “co-addict” model—and explain how research since the mid-2000s has validated that betrayed partners often experience symptoms identical to PTSD.
Together, they explore the five PTSD criteria as they relate to betrayal:
Criteria B: Reliving it through triggers, flashbacks, and nightmares.
Criteria C: Avoidance of people, places, or even one’s own emotions.
Criteria D: Negative mood and cognitions, including shame, self-blame, and feeling “not enough.”
Criteria E: Hyperarousal and hypervigilance, including sleep issues and self-harm risk.
Criteria A: Threats to life, including risks of STDs, sexual violence, or unsafe relationship dynamics.
This episode emphasizes that betrayed partners are not crazy—their reactions are normal trauma responses. By identifying symptoms through proper assessments, betrayed partners can validate their experiences and take steps toward healing.
📚 Resources Mentioned
Assessment: Trauma Inventory for Betrayed Partners (free access)
Skinner, K. (2018). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal.
Stephens, B., & Rennie, R. (2006). Early research linking betrayal trauma with PTSD symptoms.
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). DSM-5: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (for PTSD criteria).
Additional Recommended Reading & Support
Becker, M. (2019). Compassion for Couples: Building the Skills of Loving Connection.
Mays, M. (2023). The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst.
Keffer, S. (2018). Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal.
HumanIntimacy.com — courses, resources, and upcoming retreats.

Shattered Trust: The Day Everything Changed (Season 1: Episode 1)

Shattered Trust:
The Day Everything Changed
🌱 Episode Summary
In this opening episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis speak directly to those standing in the aftermath of discovery day—the moment life suddenly changes because of sexual betrayal.
They share clinical expertise, personal stories, and research insights from thousands of betrayed partners to validate the shock, confusion, and pain that follow betrayal. Using powerful metaphors like “being hit by a truck,” they help listeners name the trauma and understand why the experience feels so overwhelming.
Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn also outline how betrayal trauma mirrors the symptoms of PTSD, including intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, avoidance, mood changes, and a deep sense of shattered safety. To bring grounding and relief amidst racing thoughts and overwhelming emotions, they introduce the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding tool, a simple yet powerful exercise that uses the five senses to calm the nervous system.
Above all, this episode offers a message of hope: though life may feel broken beyond repair, healing is possible step by step, breath by breath. You are not alone, and there is a pathway forward.
📚 Resources Mentioned
Assessment: Betrayal Trauma Symptom Assessment – measure your current experiences and begin tracking your healing journey.
Book: Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner – research-based guidance for understanding and healing betrayal trauma.
Grounding Exercise: The 5-4-3-2-1 Tool (identify 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste).
12-Step Insight: “A day at a time, a step at a time, a breath at a time.” – a reminder for pacing yourself in the healing process.
Support: Visit humanintimacy.com/reclaim for resources, courses, and ongoing support for betrayed partners.