Rise: Hope and Healing Podcast

The Hidden Damage of Betrayal: The Secret Sexual Basement & the Grief We Don’t See with Pastor Darrell Brazell (Rise Season 2, Episode 9)

The Hidden Damage of Betrayal: The Secret Sexual Basement & the Grief We Don’t See with Darrell Brazell, PSAP (Rise Season 2, Episode 9)
Show Notes
In this powerful conversation, MaryAnn Michaelis LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, welcomes pastor, recovery leader, and longtime colleague Darrel Brazell PSAP, to explore one of the most validating frameworks for understanding betrayal trauma: Dr. Omar Minwalla’s “Secret Sexual Basement.”
Many betrayed partners sense that something is wrong long before the truth is revealed. They smell the “toxic fumes,” feel the disconnection, and question their own instincts—often because years of gaslighting have forced them to doubt what their body and intuition already know.
In this episode, MaryAnn and Darrel unpack why betrayal trauma creates such profound grief—and why that grief often extends far beyond the behaviors themselves.
Together they explore how deception erodes trust not only in a partner, but in one’s own gut, voice, health, identity, and even faith.
If you’ve ever wondered why betrayal feels so disorienting and devastating, this conversation will help put words to experiences many partners struggle to explain.
In This Episode
The Secret Sexual Basement metaphorHow hidden sexual behavior creates a toxic relational environment long before discovery.
 Intentionally Manipulated Reality (IMR)Why gaslighting forces partners into an impossible “lose–lose” decision between trusting their gut or trusting their partner.
 The “Second Brain” InjuryHow chronic deception damages the gut-brain connection and leads many partners to lose trust in their own instincts.
 Betrayal Blindness and Self-AbandonmentWhy partners often suppress what they know internally in order to maintain attachment and emotional survival.
 The physical toll of betrayal traumaHow chronic stress, suppression of emotions, and relational trauma may contribute to health issues.
 Faith and spiritual wounding after betrayalWhy many partners experience deep spiritual grief when betrayal intersects with faith, marriage covenants, and religious communities.
 Why grief work is essential for healingDarrel shares a powerful truth: those who heal well are often those who learn to grieve well.
Resources Mentioned
Grief After Betrayal Impact Scale (Survey) If you haven’t yet taken the survey, you can access the updated working link in the show notes. Your participation helps expand research on the real impacts of betrayal trauma.
Human Intimacy Conference📅 March 13–14Join clinicians with over 200 years of combined experience working with individuals struggling with sexual addiction and betrayal trauma.Use promo code 30OFF for 30% off registration.
Take Care of Yourself
This episode discusses heavy topics including trauma, gaslighting, and spiritual wounds. If this conversation stirred something inside you, consider taking a moment to care for yourself:
Drink some water Step outside, breathe deeply, take a short walkReach out for connection
Healing after betrayal is possible—and you don’t have to walk the path alone.
If this episode helped you, please:
Follow the podcast
Share it with someone who may need it
Subscribe and like on YouTube to help more partners find these resources
Together, we can continue bringing hope, validation, and healing to those navigating life after sexual betrayal.

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Grief, Choice and Healing After Sexual Betrayal with Dr. Karen Strange (Rise Season 2, Episode 8)

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Grief, Choice, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal with Dr. Karen Strange
Host: MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT Guest: Dr. Karen Strange, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT
MaryAnn welcomes Dr. Strange back to conclude the grief and loss series, focusing on the deeply personal and complex decision many betrayed partners face: Should I stay or should I go?, offering validation, practical guidance, and reassurance that healing is nonlinear — and that hope grows when individuals reclaim choice, safety, and support.
The episode also includes a link to a recording of the Human Intimacy Pre-Conference Q&A with Dr. Kevin Skinner, Michelle Mays, Darrell Brazell, Dr. Strange and MaryAnn as they field questions from viewers, an invitation to participate in a grief-and-loss survey addressing the limited research in this area and a preview of the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14, 2026).
Topics Covered
The “Stay or Go” Decision
Why this question feels urgent after betrayal
The importance of slowing down before making permanent decisions
Exceptions when immediate safety (e.g., domestic violence) requires swift action
Nervous System Regulation
Shock, rage, confusion, and disorientation as normal trauma responses
Regulating the nervous system to support rational, grounded decision-making
The Power of Choice
Reclaiming agency after betrayal
The right to choose — and the right to change your mind
Empowerment through informed, intentional decisions
Betrayal Grief vs. Death Grief
The complexity of grieving someone who is still alive
Ongoing relational ambiguity
How unresolved betrayal grief can resurface after divorce or remarriage
The Importance of Witnessing
Why grief needs compassionate support
The healing power of peer connection
The scarcity of structured resources for betrayal grief
Research on Betrayed Men
Dr. Strange’s doctoral research interviewing 11 betrayed men
The lack of research and support specifically for men
The value of creating space for underrepresented voices
Sexual Reintegration
Barriers couples face when attempting to rebuild intimacy
Emotional, relational, and trauma-related obstacles
Hope for renewed connection when healing work is intentional
Grief Exercise: Expectations vs. Reality
Identifying the gap between what was hoped for and what occurred
Naming losses clearly and concretely
Reframing hope as agency — having plans, options, and forward movement
 
ResourcesHuman Intimacy Conference Pre-Session Q&A 2/26/26
2nd Annual Online Human Intimacy ConferenceGrief After Betrayal Impact Scale
Men's Betrayal Group - send email to info@humanintimacy.com
 
 

Loss Before Grief: Rebuilding After Betrayal with Dr. Kevin Skinner (Rise Season 2, Episode 7)

Loss Before Grief: Rebuilding After BetrayalTake the Grief After Betrayal Scale
We often say “grief and loss.”
But what if it’s actually loss first — then grief?
In this episode, MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT and Dr. Kevin Skinner, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT explore the profound and often unnamed experience of loss after betrayal — and how grief emerges only after we cognitively realize what has actually been taken from us.
Because betrayal is not just trauma.
It is the loss of:
The reality you thought you were living
The identity you believed you held
Your sense of stability
Your worth
Your attachment security
The future you imagined
At first, there is shock. Survival. Chaos.
It may take months — sometimes a year or more — before the mind can say:
“This is grief.”
That cognitive realization changes everything.
Betrayal involves the loss of:
The reality you believed you were living
The partner you thought you knew
Your internal stability
Your identity
Your sense of worth
Only when the loss is named can grief begin to organize.
Naming the Pain
Without language, pain remains chaotic.MaryAnn references the German word Schmerz — deep emotional and mental anguish — capturing the soul-level rupture many betrayed partners experience.
When we can say, “I am grieving,” healing begins.
Identity Collapse & Secure Self-Attachment
Betrayal often destabilizes self-trust and worth. Healing requires:
Re-identifying personal value
Validating your emotional experience
Rebuilding trust with yourself
Securely attaching to yourself
Attachment research (Bowlby; Mikulincer & Shaver) supports this internal reorganization as part of recovery.
The Power of Trauma Narratives
Telling your story helps the brain reorganize trauma. Research by James Pennebaker shows that expressive writing reduces depressive symptoms and improves emotional integration.
Each time the story is told:
Meaning deepens
Emotional intensity shifts
Integration strengthens
The story changes because healing is occurring.
From Grief to Resilience
Grief is not a stage to bypass — it is a process to move through.
As described in grief research (Worden), healing involves:
Acknowledging the loss
Feeling the pain
Adjusting to a new reality
Reinvesting in life with meaning
Resilience grows when grief is honored — not rushed.
Resources
Grief After Betrayal Scale
Rise: Online Course 
Human Intimacy Conference (Online March 13–14) Feb Promo 30OFF, March 20OFF
https://www.humanintimacy.com
Selected References
Bowlby, Loss: Sadness and Depression
Mikulincer & Shaver, Attachment in Adulthood
Worden, Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy
Pennebaker, Opening Up
If you are navigating betrayal:
You are not weak.You are not overreacting.You are grieving.
And grief honored becomes strength reclaimed.

Grieving through Burbles, Triggers, and Trauma-Anniversaries, with Dr. Karen Strange (Rise Season 2, Episode 6)

Grieving through Burbles, Triggers, and Trauma-Anniversaries,
with Dr. Karen Strange 
Episode Summary
Grief is something every human experiences—but grief after betrayal trauma carries a unique kind of pain. In this episode, MaryAnn Michaelis LCSW, CSAT, CPTT and Dr. Karen Strange PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT continue their powerful series on grief and betrayal, exploring why healing feels messy, unpredictable, and often overwhelming.
If you’ve ever wondered why emotions hit you out of nowhere, sometimes even decades later… why you feel numb one day and furious the next… or why your body seems to remember things your mind tries to forget—this conversation will help you feel seen, validated, and less alone.
Together, they discuss the truth many betrayed partners discover: betrayal can feel like a death—not only of a relationship, but of identity, safety, and the future you thought you were building.
This episode is compassionate, raw, and deeply grounding for anyone navigating the emotional aftermath of sexual betrayal.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Why grief is not linear—and why it often feels like a “squiggly mess”
How betrayal trauma mirrors the death of a relationship and the loss of reality
Why people often experience grief as confusion, powerlessness, and loss of self
What “delayed grief” is and why emotions can resurface years later
Why numbness is a normal survival response (and not a sign you’re broken)
How “trauma-versaries” can affect the body even when you don’t realize it
The importance of having your story witnessed—without someone trying to “silver line” your pain
How anger and rage can show up in grief, and how to safely discharge that energy through the body
Why acceptance is often the moment emotions begin to intensify—not disappear
A Powerful Reminder:
Grief doesn’t end. It evolves.
And healing doesn’t mean you never feel pain again—it means learning how to honor what you’ve lost, hold compassion for yourself, and create space for your story to land.
If This Episode Resonated With You…
Please like and share it with someone who may be silently carrying grief after betrayal. You are not alone, and you were never meant to heal alone.
🔗 Companion Course:
Find support and resources at humanintimacy.com
If this podcast helps you, please consider leaving a review—it helps other hurting hearts find support._________________________________________________________________________
Join Us!
Human Intimacy Conference, Online March 13 & 14, 2026 use Promo 30OFF
Check out our new Youtube channel to access all of Human Intimacy's podcasts:youtube.com/@human-intimacy________________________________________________________________________
Resources and References
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On Death and Dying.
Kessler, D. (2019). Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief.
Perel, E. (2017). The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly.
Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the Tiger.
Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice.
Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion.
Doka, K. J. (1989). Disenfranchised Grief.
Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal Trauma.
van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.
Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body.
 
 

The Grief of Betrayal: Loss that No One Talks About, with Kris Cristiano (Rise Season 2, Episode 5)

Show Notes
Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal Season 2
Episode Title: The Grief of Betrayal: Loss that No One Talks About 
Healing from sexual betrayal is not something you were meant to do alone. In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is joined again by Kris Cristiano, LCSW, CSAT, for an honest and grounding conversation about one of the most misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma recovery: grief.
Together, MaryAnn and Kris explore how grief is not only connected to death, but to the loss of an entire reality—safety, trust, identity, expectations, and the future a betrayed partner believed they were living toward. They discuss why betrayal trauma creates a uniquely destabilizing grief experience, particularly because the loss is non-consensual and often leaves partners feeling disoriented, unsafe, and unable to trust their own perceptions.
This episode also highlights why healing requires connection, not isolation. Betrayed partners often carry their pain silently due to shame, fear, or a desire to protect their spouse’s reputation. MaryAnn and Kris emphasize that grief must be witnessed and validated in order for the nervous system to stabilize and for healing to begin.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, numb, angry, or stuck, this episode offers language, clarity, and hope—reminding listeners that grief can become part of your story, but it does not have to become your identity.
In This Episode, We Discuss:
Why grief is a core component of betrayal trauma recovery
How grief is not just about death, but about the loss of a familiar life
The difference between traditional grief and betrayal-related grief
How betrayal disrupts the nervous system and creates disorientation
Why grief is not linear (and why that matters for healing)
The impact of shame, secrecy, and “walking wounded” isolation
How community and safe connection help regulate emotional overwhelm
Why grief must be witnessed and validated to heal
How to begin identifying personal losses after betrayal
Hope for moving forward without being defined by betrayal
Key Takeaways
Betrayal grief often includes the loss of identity, future dreams, and safety.
Many trauma symptoms (anger, anxiety, hypervigilance, numbness) are grief responses.
Healing happens through support and connection—grief is not meant to be carried alone.
The goal is not to erase the story, but to integrate it without being consumed by it.
Mentioned in This Episode
Disenfranchised grief (grief that isn’t socially recognized or supported)
The importance of validation and witnessing in the healing process
Neurobiology of grief and how the brain struggles to reorient after betrayal
The Human Intimacy Conference (March 13–14)
Resources
Rise Companion Course: humanintimacy.com, Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual BetrayalQuestions / Contact: info@humanintimacy.com (send questions you'd like addressed at the Human Intimacy Conference)Human Intimacy Conference: March 13–14 (Online + recordings available) Use: 30OFF promo code
Upcoming Episodes
MaryAnn and guests will the grief series in upcoming weeks, including:
Delayed grief
Attachment patterns and grief
How to live with grief without losing yourself
If This Episode Helped You…
Please consider sharing this podcast with someone who may be suffering in silence. Healing is hard—but you don’t have to do it alone.

”Are You There for Me?” Understanding the Role of Attachment in Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal with Dr. Kevin Skinner (Season 2, Episode 4)

In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, MaryAnn Michaelis LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, welcomes back Dr. Kevin Skinner to continue Season Two’s series on rebuilding trust. Together they explore why rebuilding trust after betrayal is so complex, especially through the lens of attachment and trauma, based on Sue Johnson's core attachment question:“Are you there for me?”
They explain how trust begins early in life, how it’s shaped by our experiences, and how betrayal trauma can mirror early attachment ruptures—often leading to protest, emotional overwhelm, shutdown, or feeling frozen while waiting for clarity or disclosure. MaryAnn and Dr. Skinner normalize grief, numbness, and uncertainty as natural trauma responses, not signs of failure or weakness.
This episode gently reframes healing: trust doesn’t begin with forcing yourself to trust a partner again. It begins with self-trust, learning to listen to your body and emotions, finding safe support, and allowing honesty about where you truly are. Trust, when it returns, is earned through presence, consistency, and repair—not pressure.
If you’re unsure whether you can trust again—or even trust yourself—this conversation offers compassion, clarity, and hope.
Episode Takeaways
Trust after betrayal is a process, not a decision
Betrayal trauma activates deep attachment wounds
Feeling frozen, numb, or unsure is a normal trauma response
Self-trust is foundational to healing and boundaries
Earned trust grows through consistent repair and safety
Resources
The Still Face Experiment – Dr. Edward TronickA visual illustration of attachment rupture and repairhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0
Attachment Theory & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)https://iceeft.com
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, MD
Human Intimacy Conference | March 13–14Online conference featuring Dr. Skinner, MaryAnn Michaelis, Michelle Mays, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Dr. Karen Strange, Kris Cristiano, and more
 

Rebuilding Self-Trust After Betrayal: Empowerment, Group Healing, and Learning to Trust Yourself Again, with Jennifer Johnson (Season2, Episode 3)

Rebuilding Self-Trust After Betrayal: Empowerment, Group Healing, and Learning to Trust Yourself Again
Host: MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTTGuest: Jennifer Johnson, CMHC, CSAT, CPTT
Episode Summary
Rebuilding trust after sexual betrayal begins not with your partner—but with yourself.
In this deeply meaningful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, sits down with her longtime mentor, colleague, and friend Jennifer Johnson, CMHC, CSAT, CPTT, for a powerful conversation on self-trust, group healing, and empowerment after betrayal trauma.
Jennifer—who has worked with betrayed partners for over 15 years—shares clinical wisdom, lived experience, and practical metaphors that have shaped an entire generation of betrayal trauma therapists, including MaryAnn herself. Together, they explore how betrayal erodes a person’s sense of reality, safety, and self-confidence—and how trust can be rebuilt through validation, embodiment, boundaries, and resourcing.
This episode is especially for listeners who feel confused, disconnected from their bodies, unsure of their reality, or afraid of their own reactions. Through stories, metaphors, and trauma-informed insight, MaryAnn and Jennifer offer a grounded path forward—one rooted in compassion, strength, and self-reliance.
 
Key Topics Discussed
Why sexual betrayal shatters self-trust and internal safety
The power of group work and the healing impact of “me too”
Why comparing betrayal stories minimizes pain—and why pain is pain
The “drowning in 5 feet vs. 20 feet of water” metaphor
How gaslighting and shame erode self-trust
Learning to trust your body after trauma responses and triggers
Why self-trust is independent of a partner’s recovery
The “Water Your Own Tree” analogy: differentiation and empowerment
Resourcing yourself for safety and stability
Trauma as powerlessness—and why action restores agency
The stages of healing: victim → survival → thriving
The “getting hit by a bus” metaphor for trauma, recovery, and relearning trust
Why healing does not mean abandoning the relationship
The role of therapy, groups, books, and community in rebuilding trust
Key Takeaways
Betrayal trauma disrupts your sense of reality—but you are not crazy
Self-trust is rebuilt through validation, embodiment, and action
Group healing reduces isolation and restores internal safety
You can strengthen yourself without moving away from your partner
Empowerment comes from recognizing your resources and choices
Healing is a process—and different stages require different care
Trusting yourself means learning what your body, emotions, and intuition need now
Metaphors & Frameworks Shared
Water Your Own Tree: Strengthening yourself without abandoning the relationship
Drowning Is Drowning: Pain does not need to be compared to be valid
 Preparing resources for safety and self-reliance
Getting Hit by a Bus: Trauma recovery as stabilization, rehabilitation, and relearning trust
Victim → Survival → Thriving: Normal stages of betrayal trauma healing
Books Recommended in This Episode
Intimate Deception – Sheri Keffer, PhD
The Betrayal Bind – Michelle Mays, LPC
Ambushed by Betrayal Workbook
About the Guest
Jennifer Johnson, CMHC, CSAT and CPTT, is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor based in Farmington, Utah, specializing in betrayal trauma recovery for over 15 years. She is a mentor to clinicians, a trusted guide to betrayed partners, and a passionate advocate for trauma-informed, empowerment-based healing. Jennifer also brings lived experience as a betrayed partner, offering deep empathy and credibility to her work.
About the Host
MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist. She is the founder of HART Recovery Institute (Healing Addiction, Relationships, Trauma) and the host of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal. MaryAnn is also a recovering betrayed partner and a dedicated voice for compassionate, trauma-informed care.
Additional Support
If you are in the early days of betrayal or seeking structured guidance, explore:
Season 1 of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal (Stabilization)
Therapist-led groups and the online course Rise: Hope and Healing After Betrayal
Resources available at humanintimacy.com
**You are not alone.
Your pain is valid.And learning to trust yourself again is possible.

Rebuilding Trust through BRAVING: A Journey of Hope for Betrayed Partners with Dr. Karen Strange (Season: 2, Episode #2)

Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal
Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal: BRAVING, A Journey of Hope for Betrayed Partners with Dr. Karen Strange
Host: MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTTGuest: Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT
Episode Summary
Healing from sexual betrayal is not something anyone is meant to navigate alone. In this Season 2 episode of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, is joined by colleague and friend Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, for a deeply compassionate conversation about stabilizing after betrayal and rebuilding trust—first with yourself, and then, if appropriate, with a partner.
Together, MaryAnn and Karen explore betrayal through both clinical insight and lived experience, addressing the profound shock, grief, and disorientation betrayed partners often face. Using Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework, they break down trust into understandable, actionable components while emphasizing that trust is rebuilt through behavior over time, not promises or pressure.
This episode also introduces the powerful Kintsugi bowl metaphor—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold—as a symbol of post-betrayal healing, growth, and meaning-making after profound rupture.
If you are early in betrayal trauma recovery, struggling with self-doubt, or feeling pressured to “move on” before you feel safe, this conversation offers grounding, validation, and hope.
Key Topics Discussed
Why betrayal trauma often mirrors PTSD
Stabilization as the first priority after sexual betrayal
The Kintsugi bowl as a metaphor for healing after being “shattered”
Why trust is cognitive, not emotional
Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework applied to betrayal recovery:
Boundaries
Reliability
Accountability
Vault (confidentiality and discernment)
Integrity
Non-judgment
Generosity
Trusting behavior over words
Gaslighting, self-doubt, and learning to trust your body again
The role of accountability, support groups, therapy, and sponsors
Why over-disclosure can retraumatize betrayed partners
Rebuilding trust with yourself through self-compassion
Key Takeaways
Healing takes time—and time is your ally, not your enemy
Trust is rebuilt through consistent, observable behavior, not urgency
You are allowed to share your story; your partner owns theirs
Self-compassion is foundational to stabilization and recovery
Listening to your body is a powerful form of wisdom
You can actively engage in healing while you wait for clarity
Exercises Shared in This Episode
1. The BRAVING Self-Trust ExerciseWrite down B-R-A-V-I-N-G and reflect on what you need in each area to rebuild trust with yourself.
2. Daily Self-Compassion PracticeVisit self-compassion.org (Kristin Neff, PhD) and choose a brief daily practice to support stabilization, reduce shame, and restore internal safety.
Resources Mentioned
Brené Brown – BRAVING: Trust Framework
Kristin Neff, PhD – Self-Compassion Practices
Therapist-led courses and groups for betrayed partners:humanintimacy.com
About the Guest
Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in South Carolina. She brings both professional expertise and lived experience as a betrayed partner, offering deep empathy, wisdom, and hope to individuals and couples healing after betrayal.
About the Host
MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist. She is the founder of HART Recovery Institute (Healing Addiction, Relationships, Trauma) and the host of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal. MaryAnn is also a recovering betrayed partner and a passionate advocate for trauma-informed, compassionate healing.
If This Episode Helped You
Please consider sharing, liking, or subscribing. You may help someone else feel less alone and more understood.
You deserve healing.You deserve wholeness.And you don’t have to do this alone.

Beyond the Marble Jar: Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal with Kris Cristiano (Season: 2, Episode #1)

Episode Summary
Welcome to Season Two of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal. In this opening episode, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is joined by Kris Cristiano, LCSW, CSAT, to explore one of the most painful and misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma: trust.
After Season One’s focus on immediate survival following discovery, Season Two shifts toward rebuilding—emotionally, relationally, and internally. MaryAnn and Kris unpack why trust cannot be rushed, demanded, or restored through checklists alone, and why safety and honesty must come first.
Together, they deconstruct common misconceptions about trust, love, and forgiveness, explore the impact of complex and cumulative trauma, and introduce tangible markers of real recovery—what betrayed partners can actually look for over time without abandoning themselves. The conversation also highlights the critical importance of self-trust, nervous system awareness, and relational healing within safe communities.
This episode offers grounding, clarity, and hope for anyone navigating betrayal trauma and wondering: How do I know what’s real now—and can I ever trust again?
Show Notes
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Why trust, love, and forgiveness are not the same thing—and why confusing them causes harm
How betrayal trauma and complex trauma amplify the loss of trust
The Marble Jar metaphor and why trust must be rebuilt one action at a time
Why sobriety, compliance, and “checking boxes” are not the same as true recovery
The role of honesty and safety as the foundation for rebuilding trust
How betrayed partners can begin rebuilding self-trust, even after betrayal blindness
Why healing from betrayal trauma is relational and cannot be done alone
How shame and self-blame interfere with recovery—and why they don’t belong there
Key Takeaways:
Trust is a gradual process that requires honesty and safety as foundational elements.
Healing from betrayal involves understanding and dismantling complex trauma.
Recovery is not a checklist but a heartfelt journey of personal growth.
Building self-trust is crucial
Neuroception and listening to your own body and instincts.
A supportive community is vital for healing and offers essential insights and guidance.
A Gentle Invitation:
After listening, take a moment to write down one small thing you will do for yourself today or tomorrow—something realistic and achievable. Rebuilding trust begins by doing what you say you’ll do, even with yourself.
Resources Mentioned:
Blind to Betrayal by Jennifer Freyd
The Intimacy Pyramid by Dan Drake and the Rapson-Smith model
25 Signs of REAL Recovery by Kris Cristiano
Learn More & Continue Your Healing:
Rise: Hope and Healing From Sexual Betrayal courses and resources:humanintimacy.com
Human Intimacy Conference – March 13–14Join us for insightful presentations, featuring leading experts in betrayal trauma recovery, including Kris Cristiano. Use PROMO Code: 40OFF
00:00 Introduction to Healing from Sexual Betrayal
01:11 Welcome to Season Two
01:44 Meet Chris Christiano
03:19 Understanding Trust After Betrayal
06:38 The Marble Jar Analogy
09:21 Complex Trauma and Self-Trust
22:08 Betrayal Blindness
30:14 Rebuilding Trust and Final Thoughts
 
Connect With Us:
Visit our website: humanintimacy.com
Instagram: @HumanIntimacy
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on healing and recovery. Your support helps others find the path to healing and understanding.

Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal: Closing Season One & Looking Toward Growth (Season 1: Episode #13)

Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal: Closing Season One & Looking Toward Growth
 
Summary
In the final episode of Season One of Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and licensed clinical social worker MaryAnn Michaelis reflect on the emotional journey of betrayal trauma and the foundational work required for healing. They validate the profound shock, grief, and disorientation that follow sexual betrayal, emphasizing that these reactions are normal responses to trauma—not personal failures.
Throughout the conversation, they review core concepts introduced in the season, including emotional regulation, triggers, PTSD symptoms, somatic responses, polyvagal theory, boundaries, self-care, and identity repair. Healing is framed not as a linear or finished state, but as a “both/and” process—one where growth and difficult days can coexist.
Using metaphors such as home remodeling, forest fires, peeling an onion, and run-walk marathons, they illustrate how healing unfolds slowly, layer by layer. They highlight post-traumatic growth, noting that while no one chooses betrayal, many survivors develop deeper self-awareness, stronger boundaries, renewed creativity, and a reclaimed sense of self-worth.
The episode also looks ahead to Season Two, which will focus on the second stage of healing—internal work, rebuilding trust (especially trust in self), and deeper application of tools learned in Season One. The hosts emphasize the importance of community, trauma-informed practices, and self-compassion, ending with a message of hope: healing is possible, identity can be restored, and no one has to walk this journey alone.
 
Resources Mentioned or Referenced
Programs & Educational Resources
Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal (Course)A structured healing course focused on assessments, internal work, parts work, boundaries, trust, and trauma recovery.Available via HumanIntimacy.com
Rise, Hope, and Healing PodcastFocused specifically on betrayed partners and the stages of betrayal trauma recovery.
Human Intimacy PodcastBroader conversations on intimacy, healing, and recovery.
Therapeutic Approaches & Concepts
Betrayal Trauma & PTSD
Post-Traumatic Growth
Polyvagal Theory
Somatic (Body-Based) Healing
Emotional Regulation
Boundary Setting
Self-Compassion
Trust (Self-Trust & Relational Trust)
Group Support & Community Healing
Trauma-Informed Yoga
Mindfulness Practices
Professional Credentials Referenced
CSAT – Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
CPTT – Certified Partner Trauma Therapist
Clinicians Featured or Upcoming (Season Two)
Dr. Kevin Skinner
MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW
Dr. Karen Strange
Chris Christiano
Jennifer Johnson
Books & Metaphors Referenced
Beauty for Ashes (Biblical concept/book title referenced for meaning-making and growth after loss)
Resilience research by Dr. Al Siebert (resilient mindset and “both/and” healing framework)