Rise: Hope and Healing Podcast

Rebuilding Trust through BRAVING: A Journey of Hope for Betrayed Partners with Dr. Karen Strange (Season: 2, Episode #2)

Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal
Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal: BRAVING, A Journey of Hope for Betrayed Partners with Dr. Karen Strange
Host: MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTTGuest: Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT
Episode Summary
Healing from sexual betrayal is not something anyone is meant to navigate alone. In this Season 2 episode of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, is joined by colleague and friend Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, for a deeply compassionate conversation about stabilizing after betrayal and rebuilding trust—first with yourself, and then, if appropriate, with a partner.
Together, MaryAnn and Karen explore betrayal through both clinical insight and lived experience, addressing the profound shock, grief, and disorientation betrayed partners often face. Using Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework, they break down trust into understandable, actionable components while emphasizing that trust is rebuilt through behavior over time, not promises or pressure.
This episode also introduces the powerful Kintsugi bowl metaphor—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold—as a symbol of post-betrayal healing, growth, and meaning-making after profound rupture.
If you are early in betrayal trauma recovery, struggling with self-doubt, or feeling pressured to “move on” before you feel safe, this conversation offers grounding, validation, and hope.
Key Topics Discussed
Why betrayal trauma often mirrors PTSD
Stabilization as the first priority after sexual betrayal
The Kintsugi bowl as a metaphor for healing after being “shattered”
Why trust is cognitive, not emotional
Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework applied to betrayal recovery:
Boundaries
Reliability
Accountability
Vault (confidentiality and discernment)
Integrity
Non-judgment
Generosity
Trusting behavior over words
Gaslighting, self-doubt, and learning to trust your body again
The role of accountability, support groups, therapy, and sponsors
Why over-disclosure can retraumatize betrayed partners
Rebuilding trust with yourself through self-compassion
Key Takeaways
Healing takes time—and time is your ally, not your enemy
Trust is rebuilt through consistent, observable behavior, not urgency
You are allowed to share your story; your partner owns theirs
Self-compassion is foundational to stabilization and recovery
Listening to your body is a powerful form of wisdom
You can actively engage in healing while you wait for clarity
Exercises Shared in This Episode
1. The BRAVING Self-Trust ExerciseWrite down B-R-A-V-I-N-G and reflect on what you need in each area to rebuild trust with yourself.
2. Daily Self-Compassion PracticeVisit self-compassion.org (Kristin Neff, PhD) and choose a brief daily practice to support stabilization, reduce shame, and restore internal safety.
Resources Mentioned
Brené Brown – BRAVING: Trust Framework
Kristin Neff, PhD – Self-Compassion Practices
Therapist-led courses and groups for betrayed partners:humanintimacy.com
About the Guest
Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in South Carolina. She brings both professional expertise and lived experience as a betrayed partner, offering deep empathy, wisdom, and hope to individuals and couples healing after betrayal.
About the Host
MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist. She is the founder of HART Recovery Institute (Healing Addiction, Relationships, Trauma) and the host of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal. MaryAnn is also a recovering betrayed partner and a passionate advocate for trauma-informed, compassionate healing.
If This Episode Helped You
Please consider sharing, liking, or subscribing. You may help someone else feel less alone and more understood.
You deserve healing.You deserve wholeness.And you don’t have to do this alone.

Beyond the Marble Jar: Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal with Kris Cristiano (Season: 2, Episode #1)

Episode Summary
Welcome to Season Two of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal. In this opening episode, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is joined by Kris Cristiano, LCSW, CSAT, to explore one of the most painful and misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma: trust.
After Season One’s focus on immediate survival following discovery, Season Two shifts toward rebuilding—emotionally, relationally, and internally. MaryAnn and Kris unpack why trust cannot be rushed, demanded, or restored through checklists alone, and why safety and honesty must come first.
Together, they deconstruct common misconceptions about trust, love, and forgiveness, explore the impact of complex and cumulative trauma, and introduce tangible markers of real recovery—what betrayed partners can actually look for over time without abandoning themselves. The conversation also highlights the critical importance of self-trust, nervous system awareness, and relational healing within safe communities.
This episode offers grounding, clarity, and hope for anyone navigating betrayal trauma and wondering: How do I know what’s real now—and can I ever trust again?
Show Notes
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Why trust, love, and forgiveness are not the same thing—and why confusing them causes harm
How betrayal trauma and complex trauma amplify the loss of trust
The Marble Jar metaphor and why trust must be rebuilt one action at a time
Why sobriety, compliance, and “checking boxes” are not the same as true recovery
The role of honesty and safety as the foundation for rebuilding trust
How betrayed partners can begin rebuilding self-trust, even after betrayal blindness
Why healing from betrayal trauma is relational and cannot be done alone
How shame and self-blame interfere with recovery—and why they don’t belong there
Key Takeaways:
Trust is a gradual process that requires honesty and safety as foundational elements.
Healing from betrayal involves understanding and dismantling complex trauma.
Recovery is not a checklist but a heartfelt journey of personal growth.
Building self-trust is crucial
Neuroception and listening to your own body and instincts.
A supportive community is vital for healing and offers essential insights and guidance.
A Gentle Invitation:
After listening, take a moment to write down one small thing you will do for yourself today or tomorrow—something realistic and achievable. Rebuilding trust begins by doing what you say you’ll do, even with yourself.
Resources Mentioned:
Blind to Betrayal by Jennifer Freyd
The Intimacy Pyramid by Dan Drake and the Rapson-Smith model
25 Signs of REAL Recovery by Kris Cristiano
Learn More & Continue Your Healing:
Rise: Hope and Healing From Sexual Betrayal courses and resources:humanintimacy.com
Human Intimacy Conference – March 13–14Join us for insightful presentations, featuring leading experts in betrayal trauma recovery, including Kris Cristiano. Use PROMO Code: 40OFF
00:00 Introduction to Healing from Sexual Betrayal
01:11 Welcome to Season Two
01:44 Meet Chris Christiano
03:19 Understanding Trust After Betrayal
06:38 The Marble Jar Analogy
09:21 Complex Trauma and Self-Trust
22:08 Betrayal Blindness
30:14 Rebuilding Trust and Final Thoughts
 
Connect With Us:
Visit our website: humanintimacy.com
Instagram: @HumanIntimacy
Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on healing and recovery. Your support helps others find the path to healing and understanding.

Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal: Closing Season One & Looking Toward Growth (Season 1: Episode #13)

Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal: Closing Season One & Looking Toward Growth
 
Summary
In the final episode of Season One of Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and licensed clinical social worker MaryAnn Michaelis reflect on the emotional journey of betrayal trauma and the foundational work required for healing. They validate the profound shock, grief, and disorientation that follow sexual betrayal, emphasizing that these reactions are normal responses to trauma—not personal failures.
Throughout the conversation, they review core concepts introduced in the season, including emotional regulation, triggers, PTSD symptoms, somatic responses, polyvagal theory, boundaries, self-care, and identity repair. Healing is framed not as a linear or finished state, but as a “both/and” process—one where growth and difficult days can coexist.
Using metaphors such as home remodeling, forest fires, peeling an onion, and run-walk marathons, they illustrate how healing unfolds slowly, layer by layer. They highlight post-traumatic growth, noting that while no one chooses betrayal, many survivors develop deeper self-awareness, stronger boundaries, renewed creativity, and a reclaimed sense of self-worth.
The episode also looks ahead to Season Two, which will focus on the second stage of healing—internal work, rebuilding trust (especially trust in self), and deeper application of tools learned in Season One. The hosts emphasize the importance of community, trauma-informed practices, and self-compassion, ending with a message of hope: healing is possible, identity can be restored, and no one has to walk this journey alone.
 
Resources Mentioned or Referenced
Programs & Educational Resources
Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal (Course)A structured healing course focused on assessments, internal work, parts work, boundaries, trust, and trauma recovery.Available via HumanIntimacy.com
Rise, Hope, and Healing PodcastFocused specifically on betrayed partners and the stages of betrayal trauma recovery.
Human Intimacy PodcastBroader conversations on intimacy, healing, and recovery.
Therapeutic Approaches & Concepts
Betrayal Trauma & PTSD
Post-Traumatic Growth
Polyvagal Theory
Somatic (Body-Based) Healing
Emotional Regulation
Boundary Setting
Self-Compassion
Trust (Self-Trust & Relational Trust)
Group Support & Community Healing
Trauma-Informed Yoga
Mindfulness Practices
Professional Credentials Referenced
CSAT – Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
CPTT – Certified Partner Trauma Therapist
Clinicians Featured or Upcoming (Season Two)
Dr. Kevin Skinner
MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW
Dr. Karen Strange
Chris Christiano
Jennifer Johnson
Books & Metaphors Referenced
Beauty for Ashes (Biblical concept/book title referenced for meaning-making and growth after loss)
Resilience research by Dr. Al Siebert (resilient mindset and “both/and” healing framework)

When Self-Betrayal Hurts Most: Relearning to Trust Your Inner Voice After Sexual Betrayal (Season 1: Episode #12)

When Self-Betrayal Hurts Most: Relearning to Trust Your Inner Voice After Sexual Betrayal
Episode Summary
In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most painful and complex layers of betrayal—self-betrayal. While a partner’s betrayal is deeply damaging, many betrayed partners describe an even more devastating wound: the moment they realize they stopped trusting themselves.
We discuss the internal collapse that occurs when you silence your instincts, override your intuition, and ignore what your body and emotions tried to tell you. This creates deep internal chaos, confusion, and shame—because when you can’t trust yourself, where do you turn?
This conversation also explores the importance of reconnecting with your values, intuition, emotional truth, and a personal Bill of Rights. We talk about why so many partners abandon themselves in the name of survival, loyalty, fear, or hope—and most importantly, how to gently rebuild self-trust, re-align with your inner wisdom, and begin living congruently again as you move into stabilization and deeper recovery.
Resources Mentioned / Recommended
Book: Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner
Concept Guide: Creating a Personal Bill of Rights After BetrayalExamples may include:
“I have the right to trust my intuition.”
“I have the right to emotional and physical safety.”
“I have the right to ask questions and receive truthful answers.”
Support & Education
Rise Podcast & Healing Resources at HumanIntimacy.com
Human Intimacy 100-Day Healing Programs & Courses
Helpful Therapeutic Approaches
Trauma-informed therapy / CSAT or CPTT clinicians
Somatic and body-based healing approaches
Boundary and values clarification work
You’re Invited — Human Intimacy Conference
If you’re looking for deeper healing, education, community, and hope, we invite you to join us at the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference. This powerful event brings together leading experts in betrayal trauma, recovery, and relationship healing—offering tools, insight, and connection to support your journey.
👉 Register here:https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/
 

Rise: Finding Your Voice After Sexual Betrayal — Expression, Healing, and Being Witnessed (Season 1: Episode #11)

Rise: Finding Your Voice After Sexual Betrayal — Expression, Healing, and Being Witnessed
Episode Summary
In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore what it truly means to “find your voice” after betrayal. Many betrayed partners struggle to express overwhelming emotions such as anger, grief, confusion, and fear—often because they’ve never had permission, language, or safe places to speak their truth. Others feel they do have a voice, but need support in finding the right words and safe settings to tell their story.
Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why expressing your story matters both emotionally and physically, highlighting research showing that suppressed emotions can increase depression and weaken the immune system. They talk about grief, trauma integration, and the importance of consolidating your narrative—what life felt like before betrayal, what changed after discovery, and how the experience is shaping your life now.
Listeners will learn about healthy ways to express deep emotions (journaling, burn journals, therapy, group support, safe body-release strategies), the importance of being witnessed, and how finding your internal voice strengthens boundaries, empowerment, and healing. This conversation reminds every betrayed partner that your emotions matter, your story deserves space, and giving voice to your experience is a vital step toward recovery.
Resources & Mentions
RISE: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Online CourseGuided exercises, assessments, journaling prompts, education, and structured healing tools to support your journey.https://www.humanintimacy.com
Research on Expressive Writing & Emotional HealthJames W. Pennebaker – Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing EmotionsDemonstrates the mental and physical health benefits of expressing emotions and telling your story.
Healing Requires Witnessing & StorytellingDesmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu – The Book of ForgivingDiscusses the importance of sharing your story, being witnessed, and honoring emotional wounds.
Trauma & Meaning-Making FrameworkDiscussion of narrative processing and trauma consolidation – understanding life before betrayal, the traumatic event itself, and how it changes you going forward.
Support Through ConnectionResearch highlighted by Wendy Watson Nelson & Dr. Jill Manning emphasizing connection and safe support as a critical factor in betrayal recovery.
Therapy & Group SupportConsider working with a betrayal-informed therapist or joining a betrayal trauma support group to process your experience safely.

Boundaries: The Foundation of Healing after Sexual Betrayal (Season 1: Episode #10)

Boundaries:
The Foundation of Healing After Sexual Betrayal
Episode Summary
In this episode of Rise: Hope & Healing from Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore why boundaries are essential—not optional—for healing. They clarify common misunderstandings about boundaries, emphasizing that boundaries are not punishments, ultimatums, or attempts to control another person. Instead, they are acts of self-care rooted in values, safety, and personal responsibility.
Drawing from clinical experience, real-life examples, and research-based frameworks, the conversation breaks down how boundaries function as “if–then” statements focused on how you will respond to protect yourself. The episode highlights the difference between healthy boundaries and rule-setting, the role of self-trust and follow-through, and why understanding your why is the key to confidence and consistency.
Listeners will learn how boundaries support emotional safety, reduce resentment, and strengthen the inner core—especially after betrayal has shattered trust. The episode also addresses the fear that boundaries will damage relationships and reframes boundaries as a pathway to clarity, dignity, and, when possible, deeper connection.
Key Takeaways
Healing rarely occurs without clear, self-honoring boundaries
Boundaries are about your response, not controlling someone else
Effective boundaries are rooted in values, needs, and self-awareness
Boundaries support safety, self-trust, and differentiation
Letting go of outcomes is essential when setting boundaries
Practicing boundaries builds confidence and reduces resentment
Resources Mentioned
Boundaries Course – Creating & Maintaining Healthy BoundariesAvailable at Boundary Basics
Rise online Course: HumanIntimacy.com
Vicki Tidwell Palmer, Boundaries Handbook for Women
Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries
Differentiation of Self (Bowen Family Systems Theory)
Human Intimacy Courses & Educational Resources

When Your Body Takes Over: Understanding the Somatic Response After Discovery (Season #1: Episode #9)

When Your Body Takes Over: Understanding the Somatic Response After Discovery
In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore what happens inside the body in the shocking moments and months following D-Day. Drawing from clinical research, somatic therapy, and lived experience, they explain why betrayed partners often feel rage, panic, numbness, dissociation, or complete shutdown—and why these reactions are normal, protective, and deeply physiological.
MaryAnn and Dr. Skinner unpack the autonomic nervous system’s three instinctive responses—fight, flight, and freeze—and reframe them not as signs of “going crazy,” but as the body’s attempt to survive an emotional threat. They discuss how trauma is stored in the body, how healing occurs in waves, and how practices like titration, grounding, movement, and body awareness help gently release stored trauma.
Listeners learn why behaviors that feel “out of character” (such as yelling, swearing, shutting down, or being unable to focus) are common after betrayal, and how anger often acts as a protective protest covering the deeper layers of grief and fear underneath.
With compassion and clarity, the hosts offer tools for regulating overwhelming emotions, honoring the body’s pace, and finding glimmers of safety during chaos. They encourage listeners to use supportive relationships, healthy outlets, creativity, and somatic practices to slowly widen their window of tolerance and reconnect with their internal world.
This episode is an essential guide for anyone trying to make sense of their body’s reactions after betrayal—and a reminder that healing requires patience, softness, and learning to listen inward.
Resources Mentioned & Recommended
Books & Theoretical Frameworks
Deb Dana – Anchored and The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy(Understanding the autonomic nervous system, glimmers, and pathways to safety.)
Dr. Stephen Porges – The Polyvagal Theory(Foundational neuroscience behind fight/flight/freeze responses.)
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score(How trauma is stored and released through the body.)
Peter Levine – Waking the Tiger and Somatic Experiencing principles(Titration, pendulation, and body-based trauma healing.)
Somatic Practices & Tools
Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – A grounding posture used to regulate and reset the nervous system.
Superman/Wonder Woman Pose – Posture-based confidence-building and nervous system shifting (Amy Cuddy research).
Body scanning – Increasing awareness of where trauma, tension, or emotional energy is stored.
Bilateral stimulation activities – Walking, swimming, chopping wood, or rhythmic creative movement.
Related Human Intimacy Content
Human Intimacy Podcast Episode #95 – Expanded discussion on somatic healing after trauma.
Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Online Course(In-depth assessments, body-based practices, reflective exercises, and guided healing modules.)
Additional Supports
Journaling prompts for emotional expression
Safe support systems: friends, therapists, groups
Creative outlets: cooking, music, art, writing
Gentle physical practices: walking, yoga, swimming
 

Gaslighting No More: Reclaiming Your Reality After Betrayal (Season 1: Episode #8)

 
Gaslighting No More: Reclaiming Your Reality After Betrayal
Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal
Episode Summary
In this pivotal episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis take listeners into one of the most damaging elements of betrayal trauma: gaslighting. While the term is often used casually in modern culture, Kevin and MaryAnn break it down clinically and relationally, helping listeners understand how gaslighting reshapes a person’s reality and intensifies post-traumatic stress symptoms.
MaryAnn explains the origins of the term and how betrayed partners often experience it as “crazy-making.” When someone senses something is off, but their partner denies, minimizes, or dismisses the concern, the betrayed partner begins to question not only their spouse—but themselves. Dr. Skinner shares the research behind his gaslighting scale and reveals a critical finding: gaslighting is the strongest predictor of PTSD symptoms among betrayed partners, even more influential than adverse childhood experiences.
Together they describe how denial, blame, minimizing, hiding, and lying distort a betrayed partner’s internal compass. Gaslighting becomes a form of psychological abuse, causing confusion, self-doubt, and a loss of trust in one’s own instincts. This erosion of personal reality leaves many partners unsure of what is true and what to believe.
The episode also highlights the path forward—what Gaslighting No More truly means. Dr. Skinner outlines the transformational role of a formal therapeutic disclosure, impact letter, and emotional restitution letter. These structured interventions help restore truth, rebuild safety, and begin repairing the relational damage caused by deception. MaryAnn emphasizes the importance of trained therapists, thoughtful pacing, and emotional support as couples engage in this process.
Listeners are reminded: your reality matters, and reclaiming it is essential to healing. Whether within the relationship or individually, addressing gaslighting is foundational to restoring trust, clarity, and emotional stability.
References & Resources
Key Research & Clinical Foundations
Skinner, K. — Internal research on gaslighting, deception, and PTSD correlations.
Kefer, S. (2018). Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Betrayal.
Carnes, S. — ITAP foundational work on sex addiction and partner trauma.
Vaughn, P. (1989). The Monogamy Myth. Research on the healing effects of discussing betrayal details.
CDC Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study.
Books & Concepts Mentioned
Dr. Kevin Skinner – Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal
Dr. Kevin Skinner – Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal
Chapter 13: Gaslighting No More
Psychological abuse dynamics
Denial, blame, and deception patterns
Therapeutic Disclosure Model (FTD)
PTSD symptoms associated with betrayal trauma
Professional and Supportive Resources
IITAP.com — Directory of Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) and Certified Partner Trauma Therapists (CPTT)
HumanIntimacy.com/Rise — Free betrayal trauma assessment including gaslighting and PTSD indicators
Human Intimacy educational groups, intensives, and therapeutic programs led by Dr. Skinner

When Betrayal Reshapes How You See Yourself (Season 1: Episode #7)

When Betrayal Reshapes How You See Yourself
Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal
Episode Summary
In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most painful and often hidden impacts of betrayal: how it reshapes the way you see yourself. After discovering sexual betrayal, many individuals experience a surge of negative self-beliefs — I’m not enough… something must be wrong with me… I should have known… I’m unlovable. Dr. Skinner describes this internal narrative as a “virus” that embeds itself in a person’s belief system, making it difficult to see oneself accurately or compassionately.
MaryAnn explains how, developmentally, our brains are wired to seek approval, interpret social cues, and continually scan for safety. When betrayal shatters the foundation of a relationship, these systems go into overdrive, amplifying old insecurities, childhood patterns, and even generational messages about worth. Together, Kevin and MaryAnn highlight that while these negative cognitions feel overpowering, they are understandable responses to trauma — not reflections of your true value.
Listeners are reminded of a crucial truth: your worth has never changed. Negative self-talk may be loud, but it is not accurate. Healing involves challenging distorted beliefs, surrounding yourself with trustworthy voices, and engaging in therapeutic tools that help reframe your internal narrative. The hosts discuss powerful interventions such as attachment-focused EMDR, cognitive reframing, and guided support from safe attachment figures. This episode offers clarity, validation, and hope for anyone struggling to reclaim their sense of identity after betrayal.
Resources
Books & Foundational Concepts
Brené Brown – Daring Greatly, The Gifts of Imperfection (shame, worthiness, identity)
Mark Wolynn – It Didn’t Start With You (generational trauma and inherited beliefs)
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score (trauma stored in the body)
Francine Shapiro – EMDR framework and negative cognitions model
Tools & Therapeutic Modalities
Attachment-Focused EMDR
Cognitive reframing and restructuring
Identifying core negative beliefs (“I’m not enough,” “I’m unlovable”)
Inner narrative awareness: If I could hear your thoughts 24/7…
Using secure attachment figures (past or present) for grounding
Human Intimacy Programs
Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayalhttps://www.humanintimacy.com/rise
Human Intimacy Podcast episodes related to identity, shame, and worth
Reclaim and trauma-focused intensives with Dr. Kevin Skinner

Understanding and Responding to Triggers After Betrayal (Season 1: Episode #6)

 
Understanding and Responding
to Triggers After Betrayal
Episode Summary
In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most common and confusing experiences after betrayal trauma: triggers. Drawing from clinical research, lived experience, and decades of therapeutic practice, they break down why triggers occur, how the body responds, and what partners can do to navigate them with greater clarity and self-compassion.
Triggers often appear suddenly—at church, in a grocery store, during a conversation, while watching TV, or even in sleep. Dr. Skinner shares research showing that 80% of betrayed partners experience significant triggers across multiple settings due to heightened fear responses and hypervigilance. MaryAnn describes how the body becomes acutely attuned to cues of danger, often detecting subtle signals before the conscious mind can make sense of them.
Listeners are guided through the internal experience of a trigger—tight chest, racing heart, sudden emotion—and learn how to identify, name, and regulate these physiological reactions. The episode introduces two powerful tools:
“Name It to Tame It” (Dan Siegel) – Using language to bring the prefrontal cortex back online.
The COAL Method – Curiosity, Openness/Observation, Acceptance, Loving-Kindness – to slow down reactions and respond intentionally.
The hosts also discuss the difference between seeking external reassurance versus developing internal grounding strategies, the role of self-trust, and how to use tools like conscious breathing (including the “Yamaha breath”) to regulate the autonomic nervous system.
This episode provides validation, practical tools, and hope—reminding listeners that triggers are not signs of weakness, but expressions of the body’s innate protective system. With understanding, support, and practice, betrayed partners can move from reacting in fear to responding with awareness, agency, and self-compassion.
References
Briere, J., & Scott, C. (2015). Principles of trauma therapy: A guide to symptoms, evaluation, and treatment (2nd ed.). SAGE Publications.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead.Gotham Books.
Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton.
Scott, S. B., & Briere, J. (2006). “Exposure to interpersonal trauma and risk for posttraumatic stress disorder.” Clinical Psychology Review, 26(6), 615–625.
Siegel, D. J. (2010). The mindful therapist: A clinician's guide to mindsight and neural integration. W. W. Norton.
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
Skinner, K. (2017). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal. Growth Publishing.
 
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Additional Resources:
Rise: Hope and Healing Course